The death of Kenneth E. Case on December 4, 2024, motivated me to address the importance of sending flowers to the living. I met Ken 54 years and 11 months ago when I joined the industrial engineering faculty at Virginia Tech. He joined the faculty in September; whereas, I joined the faculty in January. Being the only junior faculty members, we connected quickly. However, I had a head start on Ken because I had served as a tenure-track instructor in the department for three years, teaching full-time and pursuing my master’s degree part-time, before going to Ohio State for my doctorate. Over time, Ken became my best non-family-member friend. (Mary Lib was then and still is my best friend. On April 13, we’ll celebrate our 62nd wedding anniversary. It’d be our 63rd if she hadn’t been so stubborn, but that’s fodder for a possible future blog on persistence.)
After a few years, Ken left Virgina Tech for a position in Tampa with General Telephone’s data systems group. However, having been bitten by the “teaching bug,” Ken soon returned to his alma mater, Oklahoma State University, to be a professor. There he remained until he retired.
It’s an understatement to say that Ken was no ordinary professor. In every dimension he was extraordinary. I’ve lost count of the number of people who said he was the best professor they ever had; I’ve also lost count of the number of awards Ken received from organizations such as the American Society for Engineering Education, the American Society for Quality, the Institute of Industrial and Systems Engineers, the Boy Scouts of America, the Sigma Chi Fraternity, Oklahoma State University, and the State of Oklahoma. A registered professional engineer, Ken was an international authority on the subject of quality, as evidenced by his involvement in the Malcolm Baldrige National Quality Award program.
At his funeral service in Stillwater, Oklahoma, on December 11, I shared several anecdotes of our times together. I also said, “As far as my relationship with Ken Case is concerned, I have no regrets. Why? Because I didn’t wait too long to let him know how I felt about him—that I loved him.” I remember vividly when I said to Ken in a telephone conversation, “I love you!” After a few moments of silence, in a halting voice, Ken said, “I love you, too!” Thereafter, we ended every telephone conversation with, “I love you!”
It’s far better to let those whom you love know that you love them, instead of waiting too long and sending flowers to their funerals. In fact, you don’t have to love someone before letting them know how much you appreciate them. After Ken’s funeral service, his wife, Lynn, told me that someone came from California to tell her about the impact Ken had on his life. He had already let Ken know how thankful he was for having had him as a professor, but he wanted to be there in person to let Lynn know.
Walmart’s Judith McKenna shared with my leadership class the importance of TNTs (tiny noticeable things) that leaders do. Frank Broyles, the hall of fame athletics director at the University of Arkansas, emphasized with his players the importance of having an attitude of gratitude in life.
I’ve been most fortunate to have former students reach out to me, many years after I’ve had them in class, to thank me for having a positive impact on their lives. Taking the time to reach out to me and convey their appreciation was, as the TV commercial put it, priceless.
Before 2024 ends, think about the people who’ve meant the most to you and send them a priceless gift: a thank you! Let them know how much you appreciate them. Don’t assume they know how you feel. Send “flowers” to the living. Have no regrets.
Next: Keys to “A”s in Leadership–Part I (Attitude)
