Concluding consideration of the seven basic virtues and drawing on Kolp and Rea’s Leading with Integrity: Character-Based Leadership, we consider the final two virtues: love and hope.
Love—The sixth basic virtue carries with it baggage because the English language uses the same word, love. In the Greek language there are four types of love: eros, storgé, philia, and agapé.[i] Vince Lombardi, legendary NFL coach, is credited with saying, “I don’t necessarily have to like my players and associates, but as the leader I must love them. Love is loyalty, love is teamwork, love respects the dignity of the individual. This is the strength of any organization.”
James C. Hunter states, “Agapé love and leadership are synonymous.” After noting agapé can also be translated as charity, he explores eight characteristics of agapé love:
- Patience—showing self-control.
- Kindness—giving attention, appreciation, and encouragement.
- Humility—being authentic and without pretense.
- Respectfulness—treating others as important people.
- Selflessness—meeting the needs of others.
- Forgiveness—giving up resentment when wronged.
- Honesty—being free from deception.
- Commitment—sticking to your choices.[ii]
Discussions of love in business settings are fraught with difficulties of definition. For that reason, Kolp and Rea use care, compassion and mercy as synonyms for love.
“Take care” is an expression I use frequently when I end a telephone conversation or leave a meeting. The familiar quotation attributed to Theodore Roosevelt comes to mind, “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” With people I lead, I try to ensure they know that I care for them. I tell them I do. I try to show them I do. In retrospect, I’m sure I could do more in the “showing.” I’m mindful of a saying credited to Ralph Waldo Emerson: “What you do speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you are saying.”
Tom Peters and Nancy Austin share, “Successful North American Tool & Dies chairman, Tom Melohn, talks with Nancy. She asks him what he looks for in a prospective employee. Melohn scribbles something on a table napkin, hides it momentarily, and asks Elli Parrnelli, the office manager who makes the hiring decisions along with Melohn, what she looks for. She answers without hesitation: ‘Someone who’s a caring person.’ Nancy adds that as Melohn looks at Parrnelli and nods his agreement, his eyes are filled with tears.” They add the following footnote: “Ah, sadness and cynicism! Nancy used this vignette in an article for a New York-based magazine. It was cut from the final copy with the editor’s cryptic note: ‘Too emotional.’”[iii]
Kolp and Rea conclude the chapter on love by noting that it is unlikely leaders will tell followers they love them. However, they must exhibit qualities of love to be successful leaders. Recalling the previous statement attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, followers need to know how much they are cared for by their leaders.
The opposite of care is careless. To avoid being a careless leader and sending a message to followers you could care less what they feel or think about you, pay attention to them. Little did the New York-based magazine editor realize, caring is the heartbeat of emotional intelligence.
As Kolp and Rea note, “Love often couples with other virtues. It helps leaders proceed with good faith. It makes courage bolder. It gives heart to justice. Often, it sows the seeds of hope.”
Hope—Kolp and Rea observe, “The seventh, and final, virtue, hope, brings us full circle as it joins hands with the initial virtue, courage. … To hope requires courage, and the opposite is true as well: without hope, courage is foolishness.”
Charles Phillips notes that Napolean Bonaparte said, “A leader is a dealer in hope.” He points out Napolean practiced MBWA (managing by wandering around) by mingling with his men around campfires. Leading by example he created within his troops a belief they would succeed, especially with him as their leader, Phillips states, “A dealer in hope carries people with him and enables them to perform to the peak of their ability. … According to the Duke of Wellington, Napolean’s presence on the battlefield was worth 40,000 soldiers—he inspired his followers to greatness.”[iv]
Satisfaction and disappointment accompany leadership. Leaders live in fish bowls. Often, there is no one to whom they can confide. Although leaders are seldom alone, frequently they are lonely. I faced this on multiple occasions when I was sued. Conversations with my wife were not privileged conversations. She could be deposed, just as I was. Therefore, I had to be guarded in what I said and to whom I said it. Hope is essential for successful leadership.
“To complicate matters further,” as Kolp and Rea note, “honest feedback rarely travels up, so it is difficult to assess how one is doing. Leadership requires significant energy and fortitude to handle long hours and difficult problems that can negatively impact family life.”[v] So, how can you survive? With hope!
Next: Voting Matters
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[i] James C. Hunter, The Servant: A Simple Story about the True Essence of Leadership, Crown Business, New York, NY, pp. 96-97.
[ii] Ibid, p. 100-125.
[iii] Thomas J. Peters and Nancy K. Austin, A Passion for Excellence: The Leadership Difference, Random House, New York, NY, 1985, p. 289.
[iv]Charles Phillips, Leadership in 100 Quotes, Metro Books, New York, NY, 2018, pp. 58-59.
[v] Alan Kolp and Peter Rea, Leading with Integrity: Character-Based Leadership, Cengage Learning, Mason, OH, 2009. p. 247.
