My ninth Key to an “A” is affirmation. Teddy Roosevelt is credited with saying, “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”[i] Caring for the people you lead, affirming their importance and value to you, the team, and to the organization are attributes of an exemplary leader.
Ophelia, in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, said, “We know what we are, but know not what we may be.”[ii] Unfortunately, few of us truly know ourselves and too many of us have no optimistic feelings about “what we may be.” Leaders affirm followers and include the team in their definition of “we.” As individuals identify or become one with a team and catch the optimism of the team, their individual optimism increases. Leaders not only can but must affirm followers. As Lou Tice notes, “Every good leader is a genius at positively affirming other people.”[iii]
After sharing a quote from John Buchan, novelist and diplomat, “The task of leadership is not to put greatness into humanity, but to elicit it, for the greatness is there already,” Charles Phillips notes, “… a leader’s role is to draw out the best in people, so enabling them to make the most of themselves.”[iv] One way to draw out the best in them is to believe in them and to let them know you believe in them.
Don Soderquist, former Senior Vice Chairman for Walmart, told students in my leadership class that a defining moment for him professionally was when Walmart’s Chairman and CEO, Sam Walton, told him he was extraordinary. Schneider National’s Chris Lofgren reinforced Soderquist’s comment by telling students, “Nothing is more powerful than someone believing in you.” UA’s athletics director, Jeff Long, shared with my students that his high school football coach “saw something in me I didn’t know I had,” reminding students of the importance of having someone see in you an ability you don’t see in yourself. Phillips 66’s Pam McGinnis delivered a similar message; she told students a high school guidance counselor encouraged her to go to college, something McGinnis had given no thought to doing.
When he met with the leadership class, General Marty Steele emphasized the need for leaders to be affirming. He said it’s important to convey to followers, “You really do make a difference.” He instilled this attitude in his troops—his number one rule was his people were not allowed to publicly say anything untoward about a fellow soldier, sailor, airman, or Marine, even in jest. Because of the need for intrinsic trust and confidence required of his men and women, he wanted team members to have each other’s back all the time and everywhere, not just in combat situations.
Tyson’s Donald Smith was an affirming leader, as evidenced by something he said to students in the leadership class: “When you believe in you like I believe in you, there’s no end to what you’ll accomplish.” I tried to instill the same feelings in students by reminding them that I was never able to set expectations for them that they weren’t able to exceed. I encouraged them to dream the impossible dream, because they can make the impossible possible by believing and doing. Interestingly, in Through the Looking Glass, Alice said the only way to achieve the impossible is to believe it’s possible.
The process of affirmation is closely aligned with a leader’s empathy. If empathy began with the letter a, it would definitely be included in the Keys to “A”s.
Lou Tice points out everything you do doesn’t have to be big or bold. Instead, little, everyday things you do can make big differences. He emphasized, “It’s little, everyday things that you do.”[v] Little things you do can be big things to others. Walmart’s Judith McKenna emphasized the power of Tiny Noticeable Things (TNTs) when she met with my students.
In Why It Matters and in previous blogs, I’ve shared examples of little things I’ve done. They weren’t big deals to me when I did them, but they were for the people on the receiving end. Recalling them brings to mind a story I often told faculty members. It went like this, “While hiking on a new trail, a student came upon a sign reading, ‘Pick up some pebbles and put them in your pocket. At the end of the day, you will be both glad and sad.’ The student thought it was very odd, but why not? So, after picking up a few of the smaller pebbles and putting them in a pocket, the student proceeded to complete the hike. Before going to bed, the student removed the pebbles and placed them on a table. They had turned to gold. The student was glad to have picked up the pebbles, but was sad, wishing more and larger ones had been picked up.” Then, I said the pebbles are our students; as we teach and affirm them, they will turn into gold.
I can’t help but wonder how many times I failed to stop and pick up some pebbles, how many times an opportunity to do a little thing occurred, but I walked by, missing the opportunity to impact someone’s life. Little things mean a lot. Affirmation matters!
Next: Keys to “A”s in Leadership–Part VII (Anticipation and Awareness)
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[i] See http://www.theodorerooseveltcenter.org.
[ii] William Shakespeare, The Tragedy of Hamlet, Act 4, Scene 4, Lines 42-43.
[iii] Lou Tice, Smart Talk for Achieving Your Potential: 5 Steps to Get You from Here to There, p. 253.
[iv] Charles Phillips, Leadership in 100 Quotes, Metro Books, New York, NY, 2018, pp. 88-89.
[v] Lou Tice, p. 193.
